The "Bionic" Child Or Not - Love Them Just As They Are... by John Adefope

As with any 'loving' parent, whether they'd be someone new to parenting or even someone considered a veteran, the bottom line is, 'you love your child & want the best for them.'

That said, any woman or man that has done any amount of living, has made mistakes. With that, probably, just 'probably' has the notion that their child can do better than them, & doesn't have to repeat any of those mistakes, to only suffer that same pain. With that parent right there protecting them, showing the way and sharing their experience(s).


You may even secretly want to be like the scientist (Rudy Wells), the one behind the fictional characters Steve Austin & his one time girlfriend Jamie Sommers. In the once popular television series, "The 6 Million Dollar Man" (and later with its success "The Bionic Woman" starring Lindsay Wagner as Jaime), Colonel Steve Austin, an American astronaut had a bad crash during a landing/re-entry with an aircraft during a test flight. In that flight 'ole Steve got tore up pretty bad [physically]. Regular doctors bandaged him up. "They said" it was over for him. He lost an eye, both legs, an arm, heck, I really can't remember all that happened to the guy, but the character was broken emotionally as well, even wanting to end his own life upon awaking and learning of his condition. I can vaguely remember him trying to rip the life supporting tubes from his body (in the initial episode), begging the one in his room to let him or help him finish the job. Steve Austin (played by Lee Majors) was a handsome, dashing, intelligent, successful astronaut. He was in great physical and mental shape and, probably had the life many people dream of. However now, was relegated to what he saw as.... a different life.

As Steve lay in that hospital bed, his friend, Oscar Goldman, some guy from some secret hush, hush government organization comes in and gives Steve hope about his condition. He says to Steve, something like "hey, I think we can do something about your condition, if your willing to deal with differently skilled doctors & work hard.... but it would have to be kept a secret from the world." Of course, our hero goes on to embrace the offer and voila, he's saving everybody from bad guys every week at 8pm pacific time, 9pm central.

I know I'm dating myself, but for you ....ah.... um....(cough), lets just say you 'spring chickens'....um....wannabes, you know what I'm talking about. Lets recite the beginning monologue of every episode. C'mon, 'you know' you know it... here goes: "Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the knowledge & technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. We'll make him better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."

Whew!! That was some cool stuff back then. The thought of it all is 'still' pretty cool stuff today. Now any of you that were 'with me' in that recite, whether you heard it before or not, know where I'm coming from with this. Your child "is" Steve Austin. Oh, he or she may not have been an astronaut. May not have some stranger or organization that wants to put $6 Million into there development, 'shute', they may not even have a pilots license or want one. However, the reality of it is, they've got something better than all that. They've got "you." You see, with YOU, your child not only has the potential to have/accomplish all that, but they have you as their coach & mentor, encouraging them along the way to even greater things than that.

Think about it, if your child isn't potty trained, but can be, do you just say..."oh well, I guess Diapers [not Diamonds] Are Forever." Better yet, if your child does have potential & physical ability to walk, and they have yet to do so, do you just let them crawl into adulthood to be like Porgy of "Porgy and Bess."? Oh heck NO. You'll do what ever it takes them, yes "YOUR SPECIFIC CHILD" to do what they need to do.

So, put your child's name [in Steve Austin's place] and recite that quote again yourself..."Steve Austin (your child's name here), astronaut (incredible and unique child, or however you'd describe them)...." Better yet, put some other stuff in there too. Why? Because your child can be better and he or she can do more than they did yesterday, today, while aspiring for more tomorrow. With YOU in the mix, you just have to work those experiences you've got and show your child how to find a way through 'who they are', to move forward. You are critical in this equation. Because if YOU don't believe for your child (and yourself), as their leader/parent who loves them, how will they do it? They are doomed.

So, forget what "THEY" say, whoever they are, and believe in the almighty and what has been done even with the taking of your very next breath... Show them how to go beyond being bionic, while becoming super incredible or whatever you 'love your child' to be, just as he or she is. They can do it, just show them through 'your experience' how "not" to let what "they say" be their reality.

You Are What You Eat - Contemplate Everything, by John Adefope

Picture this, ...your daughter or son is having a rotten day. Its as if they've crashed and burned and left a trail of innocent bystanders, (including you) behind. You can't seem to figure out why. Why is today so different from one of their 'best', or even the day prior?

Racking your brain, and doing all that you know successful in the past, you wish everything would just [miraculously] normalize for your child. Having possibly had a rough day yourself, you might even quietly hope things would just simply, 'fall to a level you can handle or bare.'

That said, have you 'ever' contemplated that the culprit may very well be whats in your child's lunch box? ....possibly, it was that incredible meal you made for them just an hour or so ago. Or maybe, just maybe, it was that last snack they hadn't had in a while, and you just thought nothing of giving them.

The old adage, "you are what you eat" holds true for all of us, but sometimes "especially so" for autistic, ADD, ADHD or any number of other variously diagnosed children. Think about it, you may not be the 'everyday' [whatever your name is], until you've had your morning trip to Starbucks. Once you've gotten your shot of straight caffeine (with that really cool name of course), then and only then, do you become that person you call yourself or think you really are.

Now think of your child... Depending on their age, he or she may have had as much as three (3) times as many vaccinations than you did when you were there age. They've been exposed to all sorts of new products, preservatives or whatever, let alone, have their own body chemistry. Now, with all the love you have for them, could possibly be feeding them something that doesn't sit well with their natural make up.

Currently reading a book called "The Natural Medicine Guide to Autism" by Stephanie Marohn, I'm finding myself floored by what is being shared. Yes, you know certain types of foods with high sugar content could leave your child [and even you] 'geekin' with a sugar rush. What about something as simple as a cup of milk?

In any case, if you suspect a problem with your child's diet, visit your doctor and inquire about what options you have in having them tested for food allergies. Unknowingly, you might possibly be bringing on that unavoidable crash and even 'poisoning them' to an extent. Yes, its a hard possibility to 'swallow' (pun intended), but you could be doing both yourself & child a dis-service until you do. Call to make an appointment today. After all, doesn't your child deserve the 'best fighting chance' they can get?

How to Deal with and Autistic Child or Children Part 2.

How to Deal with and Autistic Child or Children Part 2.

This follow up post is long overdue. However I am fighting cancer and after 2 major surgeries, 1 exploratory surgery and 9 weeks of chemotherapy I am just beginning to get back enough strength and time to continue this blog -- which is a labor of love.

I will be inviting other bloggers to help me keep this blog up to date and on point sharing inspirational perspectives on overcoming autism 1 day at a time. I hope to inspire hope and faith with others touched by autism. So let's address the topic at hand.

In my last post I wanted to take on the issue of how to deal with an Autistic Child. I made clear my position that you definitely shouldn't spank an autistic child. Last year in the northeast alone I must of heard of at least 4 cases of autistic children being beat, abused or even killed by their caretakers, teachers or even parents. This is deplorable behavior by adults hurting defenseless children with disabilities.

If by stating my position that spanking is wrong to do to an autistic (or any other child) is wrong can save the life or well being of even one child -- it would be worth it in my book.

Remember an autistic diagnosis is usually recognized at about 3 years of age (I understand about 5 years in minority communities). What if as a parent you are spanking your child for disrespectful behavior, tantrums, or anti-social behavior typical of children with autism, ADD, ADHD, or other childhood disease and find out they have a disability? If you are a compassionate parent you would feel terrible after the fact.

So don't do it! Quoting some Biblical scripture about "spare the rod... spoil the child" isn't going to make you feel any better.

I suggest a better way would be...

• research other forms of discipline and rewards
• learn to meditate, take a break, or get a nap to reinvigorate yourself
• get a support team you can call on to give you a break
• network with other parents and children with similar challenges
• go on long walks and do other physical activities with your child
• have play dates with other nice and supportive children
• keep away from negative people who don't understand your situation

I admit I don't have all the answers. I get totally frustrated and stressed out some times myself. But I see my daughter as a gift from God who helps give me meaning and joy to my life. The joy my daughter gives me overcomes any stress or anxiety I feel at times.

Next post I would like to focus on positive things you can do with your child.